It's so hard to say goodbye

I just found out a few hours ago that a friend of mine passed away in a motor accident in Johor.

We weren't best friends, or even really-close friends. I've only known him since Form 4, and even then we were in different classes. But we got along well, I knew his cousins, we went to the same church; and he was such a funny guy. Always ready to joke around, with a great sense of humour.

The last time I met him was at my school's 50th Anniversary fundraising dinner last December. Towards the end of it a group of us ended up at one of the empty tables, and I was next to him. We talked, and I remember it was easy. fun. No awkward silences. He was an easy person to be around.

A bunch of them had performed in the choir (singing off-key christmas songs) and I remember the small, chubby boy in the group had his own canggih camera and asked to take a picture of the two of us. So we smiled, posed and the flash went off.

It wasn't a bad picture. 

And I remember from the balcony above our table one of the younger girls from school asked him (gesturing at me) if I was his girlfriend. We both laughed so hard over that, and he fake nodded, pretending that I was. It was all in good fun.

Now he's gone. And I never got a copy of that picture.

I still can't quite believe it. He was my age. 19. How can someone so young, with so much ahead of him be taken away so soon? Where's the fairness in that?

I don't understand death. I don't understand why some people have to go, and not others. I don't understand the timing of it all. How do you choose, God? Is it random? Part of your great design? I don't KNOW.

I don't want to know.

I've heard of this kind of thing happening before. A student involved in an accident - death. But it's never happened to anyone my age whom I've known personally before. 

It's painful. It makes you realize that even if you're not close to that person, or haven't been keeping in touch, that it hurts. There's this ache in me right now that just won't go away.

It's also makes you realize that life is short. Too short. And it's made me think about what would happen if I passed away. It's amazing how Death changes your whole perspective on Life. Am I ready to go? Is anyone ever ready to go? What have I done with my life? And the most important question of all: Do I know where i'll end up? Heaven? Hell? 

The answer is, I do know. I can say with confidence that when I die, i'll be going to heaven, a better place -- because I believe in Jesus. And I urge those of you who don't know Him to at least think about this, and find out more.

It's so easy to go on in life and not think about all these questions because they scare us. It's only natural. No one goes around thinking 24/7 "Gee, what would happen if I died in 5 minutes?". Like so many of life's problems, it's so much easier to brush it under the carpet and turn our attention to other things like classes, assignments, family, friends, movies, music... 

But if you're reading this, I want you to think. Where will you go if you die? Do you know for sure? Do you want to know? 

Rest in peace, Romeo Sigal.

Gone Too Soon

Like A Comet
Blazing 'Cross The Evening Sky 

Gone Too Soon

Like A Rainbow

Fading In The Twinkling Of An Eye

Gone Too Soon

Shiny And Sparkly

And Splendidly Bright

Here One Day

Gone One Night

Like The Loss Of Sunlight

On A Cloudy Afternoon

Gone Too Soon

Like A Castle

Built Upon A Sandy Beach

Gone Too Soon

Like A Perfect Flower

That Is Just Beyond Your Reach

Gone Too Soon

Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight

Here One Day

Gone One Night

Like A Sunset

Dying With The Rising Of The Moon

Gone Too Soon

performed by Michael Jackson.

Cherish your loved ones while they're still with you. Don't wait till it's too late to say "I love you". Don't regret.

Pa, Mum, Che, Shing Yuan and Shing Ye, I love you all. 

More than I can say.